In a rare display of totally non-ironic wisdom, the widely acclaimed newscaster Steven Colbert has called for the U.S. to return to the salt-based economic model of yore. According to Comedy Central, Stephen isn’t saying you should invest in salt, he’s saying you should convert your money into salt.
We are way ahead of you Stephen. At The Meadow we offer people their change in salt rocks.
“Moving to a salt-based economy is a return to our fiscal roots,” stated Colbert. “The price of salt has gotten so high that some cities can’t afford enough road salt for the winter and will be forced to de-ice their roads the old fashioned way with global warming. In the last year, salt has gone up from 45 to 79 dollars a ton. A ton of dollars is currently worth two euros. That’s why I’m not saying you should invest your money in salt. I’m saying you should convert your money into salt. Moving to a salt-based economy is a return to our fiscal roots. Roman soldiers were paid in salt. It’s where we get the word salary which is compensation people get in exchange for doing a job. Ask your parents. Of course, we can’t trust our banks anymore, but our salt wealth can be stored in any number of locations.”